For many people, a strong sense of identity was never modelled or allowed. Families, early relationships, and cultural messages teach us that certain versions of ourselves are acceptable — and others need to be managed, hidden, or erased.
The result is a chronic people-pleaser: highly skilled at reading rooms, managing others' feelings, and performing the right version of themselves — and quietly exhausted by all of it. Imposter syndrome, low self-worth, and difficulty knowing what you actually want are common companions.
This work isn't about dismantling who you are. It's about getting underneath the performance to find what's actually there. Somatic therapy is central to this — because identity lives in the body, not just the mind. And because these patterns often have roots in early relational dynamics, the work tends to ripple outward into every relationship you have.